Bad Liar
by Goldtiger
Summary: If there's one thing I know, it's "Do not lie". Let's see how Apollo deals with things when he's caught in a situation. Rated T to be safe. No flames, but correction and advice is welcome. R&R!


**A/N Hey guys. For people who MIGHT know me, it's been a while. Anyways, without further ado, here's a oneshot about the story of Apollo and Ema's diary. Oh, and I've decided to invite a character from the Ace Attorney Series to read the disclaimer. Mr. Tigre, if you don't mind.**

_Furio Tigre: Youse talkin to Me!? Youse talkin to ME!? I don't see anyone around here, so you must be talkin to me!_

**.....Alright then.....I do NOT own the Ace Attorney Series. Capcom does. I own the crappy the fanfics. =)**

_Furio Tigre: Damn right you do!_

**Shut up.**

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"Ow!" yelled Apollo as he stubbed his toe against a box full of case files. He took a deep breath, then returned to his chore: Organizing the Wright Anything Agency's documents was the official name of the task, but everyone knew the real term was "Cleaning up after the Wrights". _And by God, is that hard! I can't believe they went out to watch a movie and left me here to clean up after them! What am I, A part-time maid!? Why do I have to do twice the work when I'm paid half the minimum wage!?_Thought Apollo as he sifted through the files and re-organizing them in alphabetical order. At least there was a plus side to this annoying chore. It let Apollo read through the cases Phoenix went through and look through his hidden possessions. Not that Phoenix would care. Heck, Phoenix was practically the God at apathy.

Although Apollo had already gone through the files before, he always liked to re-read things. That is why this time, he noticed a small folder nearly concealed by other documents, a folder that Apollo overlooked the last time (So much for his perceiving abilities). Curious, he reached in the box and carefully lifted the folder from the depths of the box. The folder was nothing out of the ordinary. However, the label caught Apollo's eye. In untidy letters, the words "SL-9 Case" were written on the tab. Deeply intrigued by the new file, Apollo opened up the folder. Expecting to see sheets of paper and possibly photographs of crime scenes and evidence, what he saw instead was a notebook. The strange thing about this notebook was that it seemed to belong to a kid a long time ago. Picking it up, Apollo then noticed the name of the owner of this book.

_This is the property of Ema Skye, Scientific Prodigy._

Apollo nearly fell over.

Thinking that he had made a mistake, Apollo rubbed his eyes and checked the name (and nearly fell over again). Apollo's eyes bulged, and he broke into a cold sweat. What he was holding in his hands was twice as valuable as the Holy Chalice, for he had the diary of a girl! Many have stumbled upon this, and many have faced the wrath of the owner. _Oh God,_ he thought to himself, _If Ema finds out I have this, she's gonna snackoo me like there's no tomorrow! _Apollo pictured himself chained against a wall while Ema, with a smirk on her face, loaded up a 45-caliber revolver with deadly snackoos, and he whimpered to himself. _Come on, snap out of it!_ He shook his head, and was about to stuff it back into the box when he heard a knock on the front door.

"Hey, anyone home?"

_Oh geez._

"Um, uh, nobody's home!" He yelled out in a shrill voice, but quickly covered his mouth since he remembered that claiming nobody to be home was an obvious lie.

"Apollo, is that you? I'm coming in, alright?"

"Um, wait! Don't come in!" He shouted back, feverishly thinking up a good excuse, "I, uh, I'm naked! So don't come in!" _ DOH!!_

"You're what!? What the heck are you doing in there naked!?"

_Oh crud! I don't have enough time to clean all this up! She'll get suspicious, and then she'll find out, and then she'll take me to Siberia, and then she'll put me in Snackoo hell! AUUUGGGHHH!_

"Hey, answer me, Apollo!"

"No wait! I'm just looking at something confidential here on Mr. Wright's computer, and you can't see it!" _Phew! Nice save!_

"Apollo, what could you possibly be looking at that's so private and would cause you to become naked

in the middle of the da-" Ema stopped in mid-sentence, as a thought struck her. There was only one possibility. No, it was the only answer. _He's looking at THOSE sites!?_

"...I don't believe it. Apollo, you're 22, working at an agency, and using the company's computer for such indecent purposes!"

_Huh? What's she talking abou- wait a minute......OH HECK NO._

"No, I'm not looking at that! Trust me!" Apollo cried out.

"So then what ARE you doing naked in the middle of the day, if you're not looking at women and being a total pervert!?"

"Look, I'm not doing what you think I'm doing! I have no interest in looking at women at all, alright!?"

Ema gasped.

"So if you're not interested in women, then that means you're looking at...at.....oh my god...I never knew you swung that way..."

_Oh COME ON!! What's next!? I'm gonna be attracted to aliens!?_

Desperate to redeem himself, he threw open the door, shoved his face right in front of Ema's shell-shocked expression, and screamed out "I'M. NOT. GAY."

Ema, surprised by the sudden outburst, and still believing that Apollo was naked, blushed and covered her eyes. "Look, I'm not naked, okay? I was lying." Apollo said in a calmer tone. Still blushing, she slowly opened her eyes, and saw that it was indeed true. She set a straight face, and said, "I guess you're right."

_You guess..?_

But then her eyes grew sharper, and she cried out loud, "But YOU owe me for mentally scarring me like that! Buy me a pack of snackoos and treat me to lunch!"

Apollo's jaw dropped. "What!? B-but, that's not fair! Unlike me, you actually make money from your job!"

_**Ka-tonk!**_

_She snackoo'ed me..._

Apollo sighed and hung his head. "Fine, it's a date then."

Ema blushed at that statement and turned her head away in embarassment. "D-date? With a pervert like you!? Please!"

"It was just a figure of express-"

**Ka-tonk!**

_She snackoo'ed me...again._

"A-anyways, you BETTER remember! Or I'll secretly inject you with highly volatile acids that will burn your insides and kill you within half an hour!"

Apollo gulped.

"Oh, and by the way....what's that you're holding in your hand? It looks sorta familiar, in a scientific way."

"Eh?"

Apollo looked down, and sure enough, he was subconciously holding on to the diary he was supposed to dispose of. Apparently, during all the ruckus, he had forgotten to let go of it.

_......f#%_

**A/N Hope you enjoyed that! Honestly, I'm not a great comedian. I'm just funny enough to make my friends chuckle, but I promise I'll better myself! Anyways, see you next time!**

_Furio Tigre: Hahah! That's cute!_

**Your mom's cute....**

_Furio Tigre: What youse say bout my mom, punk!?_


End file.
